Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The Quest Episode 1-5 Recap: Under Siege

"Christian hasn't shown the traits to be the one true hero. The one true hero should no matter what show honesty and loyalty." --Paladin Andrew
We open the episode with a red shirt warning that there is an ogre at the drawbridge!

No, not that ogre.

Panic ensues. Sir Ansgar orders the paladins to grab a scorpion, disassemble it and bring it to the top of the wall. I am immediately excited like OMG A SCORPION YES! Because I love me some siege weapons, and I'm nostalgic for Dark Age of Camelot, where my character stormed many a keep. While the paladins fumble about trying to reassemble the scorpion, Sir Ansgar runs off to melee the ogre like a proper tank. Ansgar shouts repeatedly for the paladins to shoot the ogre, but the paladins panic and are made of fail. Thankfully Sir Ansgar owns the ogre and is victorious. Shondo is impressed, because Shondo is awesome.

Post-ogre-ownage, the Grand Vizier enters. He is not impressed and is fabulous in his disappointment. The club can't even handle him right now.

The paladins face a semi-capture-the-flag challenge. First teams build up their defenses, and then they storm the other team's door. Again, this evokes DAoC nostalgia. The DAoC end-game revolved around taking enemy keeps (and ideally stealing their magical relics). My characters hauled many components for battering rams.

Team Lina is comprised of Shondo, Andrew and Leticia, and Team Christian has Bonnie, Adria and Patrick. Christian did not pick Andrew, hurting Andrew's feelings (bromance in jeopardy!), but also raising suspicion as to Christian's motives. I immediately suspect that Christian chose his team in order to get one of his teammates picked off, explaining why he didn't pick his buddy--to keep Andrew safe. But then it's BATTERING RAM TIME!
"Our first swing was the biggest fail in the history of the world." --Paladin Shondo
It's okay, Shondo. Unless you're a geek like me, you probably aren't familiar with siege weapon operation.

Team Lina captured the flag! And then Christian admitted (to the camera) that he picked his team to fail.

The Doctor sees what you did there.

Afterward, it's sparring time again in the courtyard. (In a cut-scene there were random wolfhounds in the background, and I was filled with giant puppy squee.) Christian is predictably smarmy and explains why his team failed with random excuses. He's all, "I take full responsibility." Uh huh. The other paladins are dubious.

The Fates' challenge is a little weird, involving the bottom four being locked inside individual iron cages, then having to heft the cage and maneuver it through an obstacle course. Oh joy, another strength-based challenge. The men immediately take off, and no one is surprised. (Enough with the strength challenges already! Ugh.)

Patrick wins immunity. No one at all is surprised, but he is injured along the way. Bonnie attempts to tough it out to the end of the challenge (because Bonnie is awesome) but she is hurt. Nooooooooooo! After they free her Patrick hulk smashes the cage she was in. I kinda want to hug him.

Christian continues to be smarmy. I yell expletives at the TV. But then, CHRISTIAN IS GONE! There was much rejoicing. Christian is shocked. I do a happy dance.


Back at the castle, it's trade skill time again (they are going to be awesome at wood crafting by the end of this). Sir Ansgar teases Patrick about his war wound. Patrick supports Bonnie's awesomeness despite her injury, and Ansgar singles out Bonnie to see if she can hold a sword, which she can.

Sir Ansgar he teaches the paladins the finer points of fletching, and we learn that Bonnie wrote him a song! She offers to sing it for him, and Sir Ansgar gathers the troops so Bonnie can sing. Dude, it's totally a drinking song. SO GOOD!

But then stuff is on fire! Everyone hides, and discover that a spy orb is loose in the castle. (They're fighting a World of Warcraft warlock. I always liked that spell. It was fun to case when you're bored in a dungeon.)

Robyn's Random Thoughts
  • There were back-to-back episodes aired last week, and I'm going to post my recap of the second one tomorrow. It's good stuff. (The episode, not my recap. Well, maybe both.)
  • No, really. No more strength challenges. Frodo couldn't have passed them, and that would've sucked for Middle Earth. The bulk of your muscles shouldn't define whether or not you can save the kingdom in a fantasy setting.
  • So glad that Christian was voted off. This isn't Survivor. Back-stabbing and manipulation might win there, but they shouldn't win in Everealm.

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